Good morning! You're in a tough position and you're definately not alone! Many parents of 5 year olds are asking about what to do with that age group and their attitude and bad language. It is important to know that developmentally children at this age are struggling with power and control. The recognize that power is important and they are old enough to want a piece of it. It is also a common time for kids to try out many "bad" words again because they are powerful and they are experimenting with how power works. When we remain in charge, but give kids opportunities to practice how to use power, they begin to learn how to use it in appropriate ways. The following are a few ways to begin to teach that skill.

1. give choices....then walk away to let them decide

2. involve them in problem solving (much more likely to buy into an idea if they were apart of the solution)

3. be aware of tv and media that involves sassy attitudes or bad language...this is VERY powerful!

4. have family meetings that where issues can be discussed

5. Give kids alternatives to the bad words they are using....make a list

6. if it's attitude....you can say, "When your voice sounds like mine, I will happy to listen to you"

7. set a timer and let the child say whatever, however for 2 minutes and then they need to be done.

8. Decide on a place for bathroom talk....(the bathroom)

9. NOTICE WHEN THEY ARE DOING WELL and comment during those times. Example....I noticed your tone of voice today or I enjoy talking to you when you that tone etc.

I am NOT a fan of hot sauce. Children at this age need practice, tools, and guidance to learn skills long term.  It sounds like you are reader as well....a few good resources would include Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and No Cry Discipline Solutions by Elizabeth Pantley. Both resources support a better understanding of what kids are going through developmentally as well as helpful strategies to help teach kids the skills that support good behavior! I wish you luck and patience....it's certainly not easy:)

Thanks, Angie!

CentralMinnesota.MomsLikeMe.com

Administrator

moms@stcloudtimes.com

Angie, I had forgotten about the TV. We turned our cable TV off this summer and it is amazing the difference in choices that are made in our home. I used to think that the Disney Channel was a pretty safe bet, until one day i was "listening" to the conversations. A friend had to point out to me how on many of the shows the parents are either "absent" or portrayed as incompetent--or the children speak to them as if they were incompetent.

Honestly, I thought I was going to have the hardest time with the TV off, but now I only watch the shows I really want to see, on podcast. I used to also have to send my daughter to a different room to do something else, if whatever I was watching was inappropriate for  her, now we can watch appropriate things together, and I can catch up on my shows after she has gone to bed. I watch far less mindless TV and get lots more done!

Charlene

www.artasyoulikeit.net